Saturday, March 12, 2016

That Shit Cray

I, Jacquelyn Revere am a severe stutterer. I forget what the percentage for the rank of stuttering is, but I do remember that severe stutterers, stutter on 60-80% of their words, those are a lot of words, and that is a lot of time spent stuttering, and I feel every second of it. I had to take a break from the blog, because stuttering was becoming everything I knew and thought about, and as positive as I try to be about it, stuttering is an up an up and down struggle. I want to continue to share the honesty of what that experience is, but sometimes, I just have to not think about it.

 And now somehow its 2016, I unexpectedly tried to spend 2 years not thinking about stuttering, and during that time I joined Toastmasters, where I thought about it constantly, I quit Toastmasters and I began doing stand up comedy and loved it. LOVED IT.

I know we've talked a bit about how Ive learned to be mostly fluent on stage, it comes with reciting my sets, or scripts, and laser focusing while in the moment on stage, and usually that works for the most part. But in November of 2015, I was asked to do a guest comedy spot on a public access live television show, I did it and stuttered through my entire set. Not one punchline made it out at the right timing, not one anecdote made its way clearly from my mind to my mouth to the mic. None of it. And  I stayed in that moment for a few minutes and my entire body was on fire, I felt flames circling every inch of myself,  Im sure its on youtube somewhere, I was even given a consolation prize of a horrid interview after I balled my eyes out for 20 minutes upstairs in the conference room corner, and I'm sure thats on the web somewhere too. So, I quit, I didn't wanna do stand up anymore, and decided o focus on comedic writing and video production. Youtube and video production peaked my interest and I have begun training and working at the same public access station that I bombed at, every time i see the couples who show I bombed I rush away as quickly as possible, completely embarrassed, and that how I know that my stutter work is not done, and will most likely never be done, and so I am back to document my experience, because 'that shit cray.'

March 8th I stepped back on stage to co-host/produce a comedy show with a friend (Chanel Ali). This was my first time back on stage since November 2015, it was fun, I didn't say much, I didn't tell any jokes, Chanel and I played off each other a bit (she is so supportive), but I'm getting my feet wet again. Hopefully I will be able to tell you about our next show coming up soon.


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