My thoughts flow up and down all of the time, and to tell you the truth I am getting a little tired of making challenges to do daily for my speech. It makes my speech a much bigger deal in my life for this moment than it ever has been, and to be completely honest, because my stutter is connected so deeply to me as a person, i think I want to change some of my challenges to be about making myself a better person. Ill give a little example...so today
As most of you know, I work in customer service. And one of the only things that I really do like about my job is my crew. Our job is difficult and demanding, and we all know the struggle and pull together to get things done. I like them a lot. However, everyone in every group can't be friends. So when I first began this job, I believe that I walked into the store my cheery self, ready to meet people, and almost immediately, I felt a non-friendly vibe from a few of the girls on the crew. I, instead of going against that vibe, and being friendly and putting myself a little bit on the limb, i automatically decided, "fine then i won't talk to them, whatever." So, since I've begun this job, 9 months ago, very few words have been exchanged, however many glances and looks and crossed eyes have been had. sooooooo
Today during lunch break a bunch of us were in the lunch room talking about...something..who knows. This one girl I hadn't gotten along with and I agreed on this one topic and had a really fun exchange during the conversation, it was nice, because I felt the weight of all the defensiveness that I was carrying melt off. Its a lot of weight to carry, even if its just the front..."Whatever, I don't care." Because I really did apparently. So before we both left work, I walked up to her and said, I know we've never had the time to talk, but the little exchange we had today felt good. I just wanted to say that. And her response was, yeah it did. She then she asked if I was working tomorrow.
So, this is what I mean. I have good instincts and I can feel what is the best decision and sometimes I fight it because of my ego. Im looking to work on myself. Yes my stutter is apart of myself but it isn't all of it, and Id hate to minimize this challenge just to my speech. Ok so from here on out, things are changing a little, you ready?
As most of you know, I work in customer service. And one of the only things that I really do like about my job is my crew. Our job is difficult and demanding, and we all know the struggle and pull together to get things done. I like them a lot. However, everyone in every group can't be friends. So when I first began this job, I believe that I walked into the store my cheery self, ready to meet people, and almost immediately, I felt a non-friendly vibe from a few of the girls on the crew. I, instead of going against that vibe, and being friendly and putting myself a little bit on the limb, i automatically decided, "fine then i won't talk to them, whatever." So, since I've begun this job, 9 months ago, very few words have been exchanged, however many glances and looks and crossed eyes have been had. sooooooo
Today during lunch break a bunch of us were in the lunch room talking about...something..who knows. This one girl I hadn't gotten along with and I agreed on this one topic and had a really fun exchange during the conversation, it was nice, because I felt the weight of all the defensiveness that I was carrying melt off. Its a lot of weight to carry, even if its just the front..."Whatever, I don't care." Because I really did apparently. So before we both left work, I walked up to her and said, I know we've never had the time to talk, but the little exchange we had today felt good. I just wanted to say that. And her response was, yeah it did. She then she asked if I was working tomorrow.
So, this is what I mean. I have good instincts and I can feel what is the best decision and sometimes I fight it because of my ego. Im looking to work on myself. Yes my stutter is apart of myself but it isn't all of it, and Id hate to minimize this challenge just to my speech. Ok so from here on out, things are changing a little, you ready?
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